That Warm and Fuzzy Feeling . . .

Looking out my living room window, I realize that sociopaths probably decorate their houses for Christmas, too. The holidays definitely have a way of connecting people together.

Happy Merry Holidays!

Fighting Off the Cold . . .

Sometimes the only comfort we can get are the quiet rumbling of water boiling in the tea kettle and the sweet anticipation of a warm cup held in hands that are cold for too many reasons.

Every day happenings . . .

I stood in my kitchen today. Made myself take the time out to just be there, to soak up the scent of onions and spices cooking in the pot on the stove. To absorb into my body, my mind, my soul, what I take for granted. It was an attempt to fortify in my memory the scent that I have grown to love and one that represents my dad's cooking, thus a part of him. An attempt to not forget, while knowing it is inevitable. And realizing that the only moment I truly have, is now. The bittersweet feeling rears its ugly head once again.

Thinking outside the garden . . .

"What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Slipping Over the Edge . . .

Summer Dream . . .

"Dream," by Priscilla Ahn, has a special place in my heart. It reminds me of moments in my childhood and of summer: entire days spent outside in the sunshine, learning and talking about life with friends, climbing trees, riding bikes, playing games, running around and chasing each other just for the feeling of it in our lungs and muscles, laughing until my stomach hurt, laughing until I forgot why I was laughing in the first place, dreaming dreams of tomorrow and the far off future, feeling that if not everything a lot was possible.

I still have the urge to 'go play' and basically do all of the above. However, obviously because I'm older, I have responsibilities and needs that take priority. Plus, I doubt that people would view a 21 year-old girl-woman-hybrid running around the park or climbing trees (esp. by herself) as someone just 'having a good time' XD

And so, the combination of the lyrics and the singer's voice quiet me, inside out, leaving me with the bittersweet flavor of nostalgia. Because my childhood has passed (though the lessons learned never get old) and the summer season loses its allure of freedom and time-to-do-nothing-on-purpose every year, to be replaced with the need to be 'productive' and gain experience.

Sometimes all the scheduling and accruing said experience takes away from just living. I know it's not like that for everyone everywhere, but it is for me right now and has been for a while. But I also know it's simply a part of my life (and that of most of my peers) at this stage; I need experience in order to progress to what I want/need to do, even if it's not fulfilling at the moment.

The post seems to have veered off topic, but I don't think by much. The song reminds me of the disparity I feel between preserving my inner child, and nurturing and learning about the individual I want to be.

Finding Love . . .

'Love Lost'-- The Temper Trap


I love it when a band sounds amazing live. That's when they really become musicians and artists for me, rather than simply performers, one-hit wonders, or stars.