Dreamed a Life . . .

This song has me nostalgic for my childhood and summer. The simple freedom of the season and of that age are what I miss. I knew that childhood was fleeting, even at that age, which made growing up a strange experience: I didn't want it to happen because of what I would lose, while knowing it was inevitable. Not that I would want to live a Peter-Pan life anyway, ha. That's a whole can-of-worms on its own.

I wonder what I'm waiting for, what is it that I think will motivate me, or inspire me, to start living my life the way I would like to? What's the hold-up? Fear? Fear that if I truly try, and I fail, I won't even have the hope of what could have been? Fear that if I go in the directions I want to, I'm letting go of what I know, trying to balance on a tightrope with little confidence in my ability to make it to the other side? The fear that if I really rely on myself, really embrace the responsibility to myself, that I will not be able to fulfill it or that I will wander down a path that I would not be able to return from if it doesn't pan out?

After all this philosophizing, I realize I have so much more to grow. The amount of cynicism I hold doesn't necessarily correlate with how mature I really am XD I wish maturity/growth/wisdom was guaranteed as we got older.

Maria Taylor's "Time Lapse Lifeline"

"It's Okay to Not Be Okay"

Sometimes a song can give the best advice that others can't find the words for or the means to give. I feel a little adolescent for quoting song lyrics to represent how I feel or what I'm thinking about, however, words (may they be my own or others') have the great power to connect and clarify the emotional and mental blur that overwhelming feelings/moods can be. The song is encouraging, and a little positive reminder of the possibilities that remain no matter what's going on in life, is enough to change perspective for the better.