Summer Dream . . .

"Dream," by Priscilla Ahn, has a special place in my heart. It reminds me of moments in my childhood and of summer: entire days spent outside in the sunshine, learning and talking about life with friends, climbing trees, riding bikes, playing games, running around and chasing each other just for the feeling of it in our lungs and muscles, laughing until my stomach hurt, laughing until I forgot why I was laughing in the first place, dreaming dreams of tomorrow and the far off future, feeling that if not everything a lot was possible.

I still have the urge to 'go play' and basically do all of the above. However, obviously because I'm older, I have responsibilities and needs that take priority. Plus, I doubt that people would view a 21 year-old girl-woman-hybrid running around the park or climbing trees (esp. by herself) as someone just 'having a good time' XD

And so, the combination of the lyrics and the singer's voice quiet me, inside out, leaving me with the bittersweet flavor of nostalgia. Because my childhood has passed (though the lessons learned never get old) and the summer season loses its allure of freedom and time-to-do-nothing-on-purpose every year, to be replaced with the need to be 'productive' and gain experience.

Sometimes all the scheduling and accruing said experience takes away from just living. I know it's not like that for everyone everywhere, but it is for me right now and has been for a while. But I also know it's simply a part of my life (and that of most of my peers) at this stage; I need experience in order to progress to what I want/need to do, even if it's not fulfilling at the moment.

The post seems to have veered off topic, but I don't think by much. The song reminds me of the disparity I feel between preserving my inner child, and nurturing and learning about the individual I want to be.